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 Sujet: apologize.
Sam 7 Mar - 17:32 
| | Nombre de messages : 581
Age : 34
Origine : Anglo-Germanique.
Préférence Magique : Vieille Magie.
 Ansgard Mustang
Eventually, Reagan was right. All of his problems came from his past. He had to wake up and smell the coffee, he had to fight his daemons to really live. Fight the past, to live the present like anybody. Erlantz had always done the contrary, because he never accepted the fact his wife was dead because of him, and only him. The real reason was he fought the black wizzard, and these laters would hurt Erlantz at the deepest of his mind. And his family was the only that could hurt Erlantz. So... His wife was dead now. She was killed in front of their child, Peru. Their son became totally mad. Erlantz had suffered since that moment, you know. And i think it's normal. Erlantz wanted to be a perfect man : never show his feelings, never cry, and blablabla... But, in fact, Erlantz just wanted to be a model for his close friends, or family. But now... It was so hard. Reagan was right. He had to pay a call to his son. To Peru. Because him, he had not done anything to deserve this condition.
It was for this, Erlantz came to St Mangoust Hospital. The time has come to fight all of his problems, to live well. And when he arrived in the level 3 the conjuring pathology, he could not prevent himself from trembling. His legs were waved of tics. But it is not the only sign of his dizzy turn. Because his face was so white... Deathly pale... Pallid. We could gess Erlantz would have like to be anywhere but here. Nevetheless, he went in. Even if, he went so slowly, Erlantz made strides. His face was tense with worry. Erlantz was not good. During a short time which seemed to last a long time for the Auror's leader, Erlantz searched his son's room. But... He could not rememeber the number of his Peru's room. So... He turned to look at around him, in the hope to recognize anybody to help him to find his son's room. |
| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Sam 7 Mar - 18:33
| | Invité
This day had been the most ordinary one for Natalia Taylor, except for Dc Miles Stevens not willing to talk to her anymore since she had turn him off in front of all their conjuring pathology fellows. It all happened very naturally in fact. Miles had been playing love games with her since their catastrophic date at the Blue Mandrake, and Natalia had kept on shunning him. They ended up having an animated talk in the break room during which Natalia happened to throw to Stevens' face that she (I quote) "didn't even consider the idea to beguin any sort of relationship with such a man as you Miles Stevens"- end of quote. Which she actually didn't really thought that but he felt ruffled in his pride and didn't want to hear anymore excuses.
The fact was, Natalia really was a kind woman but she sometimes had bad reaction when you put pressure on her (except from the pressure she was confronted to at work) and it just slipped out of her mouth whereas what she wanted to say was that she was not ready yet for any kind of male/female relationship. Maybe she just had not found the good one yet.
Mr Marley-How' you doin' Dc Taylor?
Natalia-Fine, don't really have the time right now Mr Marley.', she was in a hurry.
Mr Marley- Uh how's Mr Jefferson?
She raised her eyes to the ceiling. God would you be of any help for her today?
Natalia-He's fine.
Mr Marley was one of St Mangoust special cases. He was shot a few year ago by a lost spell of unknown type, right in front of his house. Taylor only just saved him on the surgical table but he remained highly uncapable of keeping memories and kept on wandering through the hallway, asking the same odd questions on and on.
Now, this day really was an ordinary day. Natalia took a little time to pay a visit to Peru. She had still not talked of Aconitya to Erlantz. With a motherly softness, she rested her hand on Peru's forehead just a minute clearing it from a few dark locks. Today Peru seemed quite calm. Well he always seemed calm but sometimes she had the feeling that something, some insignificant thing was fidgeting inside. She really felt compassion for this patient. It was not any patient, and he had been lying here with no other visits than her owns for so long... She sighted. There were not much to do for the time being and she had simply planed to visit the rooms that had been placed under her responsibility.
She carefully closed the door and immediately her gaze fell upon the back of a man she could have recognized anywhere even though seeing him at St Mangoust was completely new to her. She smiled. It was always a good thing to see Erlantz anyway.
Natalia-Erlantz?! You here? I'm so glad.
She gave him a fair smile before she note his disquieting paleness. She needn't have any further explainations. It was such a rare thing to see him in this hallway, there could be only one reason for this. She passed her hand on his shoulder as a sign of support. Finally Reagan may have convinced him it was high time to face the facts and live.
Natalia-You've been out for so long, don't remember the brass plate on his door hum? Come on...
She just had that sweet talk of her, so friendly but not indulgent. She was both a strong and a very sweet woman in fact, and she knew how hard this step was to take for Erlantz, because she had had to take exactely the same step three years before, when she drew the surgical sheet on Jeff beloved face.
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| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Dim 8 Mar - 4:21
| | Nombre de messages : 581
Age : 34
Origine : Anglo-Germanique.
Préférence Magique : Vieille Magie.
Ansgard Mustang
- Erlantz ?! You here ? I'm so glad.
When he heared this voice, Erlantz looked around himself to see Natalia who came to him. He tried to smile too, but Erlantz's smile was so forced. Finally, he stopped smiling and looked Natalia directly in her eyes. Inside Erlant's eyes, we could see a sadness no man should have to know. Erlantz run his hand over his hairs before saying :
- Yeah ! It's a little surprise ! Well... hum... Surprise !
It was not convincing. Erlantz had a lot of things to learn before playing the comedy. Finally, she passed his arm on Erlantz's elbows and they began to walk.
- Hum... Flint advice me to come to see me son... And... He was so hesitant. He tried to smile again. None success. ... And... Here i'm !
We had no need to be a sighted person or a telepathic man to understand Erlantz's mood. Natalia seemed to understand that. When one was sad, the other was here to try to comfort the other. And that was in the both way. They were a great friend for one another. She said.
- You've been out for so long, don't remember the brass plate on his door hum ? Come on...
Erlantz followed Natalia. He trembled again, but it was lagging behind. He had prefered to be anywhere except the place where he was, at the moment. Suddenly, Erlantz stopped to move. He looked Natalia, and he said :
- I can't go... I can't... It's beyant me strenght... I cannot... Let me go away... Go away from here... I don't wanna see him... I.. i... Why i listen to Flint...
Erlantz stressed out. His trembling was intensified a lot. His palled made anybody scared. |
| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Dim 8 Mar - 5:12
| | Invité
Erlantz- Yeah ! It's a little surprise ! Well... hum... Surprise !
Well, surprise she was quite. She could perceive every symptoms of uneasiness in her friend's attitude, in his way of kidding, and speaking, and above all in this incredible paleness of his. Never did she see him like that. So pale. The ghost of himself, if not a mere shadow. She felt pain deep inside at seeing him, usually so strong.
Natalia-You're a terrible actor.
It was not that she was trying to make him laugh. No at all. In fact she simply had had to take him as she used to, as she has always done, so that the moment do not grow over dramatic or at least more dramatic than it should have been. Of course there was no need saying it was quite a dramatic situation. She had not seen him here since... from the beginning in fact. He just could not. She knew he just could not.
Erlantz- Hum... Flint adviced me to come to see me son... And... Here i'm !
Natalia-Think Flint got it right. It's a very good thing you're here at last.
Her voice still sweet was kind of floating and drifting away as she tried to remember how many times they had NOT talk about Peru. It was a kind of overwhelming shadow on Erlantz broad shoulders. Something she knew it would break him like a fragile twig if it was to remain overweighting over his head.
She initiated the first steps towards Peru's room. Room number 423. A solitary white room. Peaceful. Too peaceful maybe. Natalia had always found it too white too that why she insisted on having flowers regularly renewed in this room, and the curtains opened every morning wether the weather be fine or not. It lacked in life. Everything seemed at a stand, peacefully lying in wait of a "something" to come. But what? Maybe it was Erlantz himself.
Erlantz- I can't go... I can't... It's beyant me strenght... I cannot... Let me go away... Go away from here... I don't wanna see him... I.. i... Why i listen Flint...
She turned to him. He was stiff as a sad statue, deathly pallid. The sweet tan of his skin had gone under de dim hue of something like... stillness? Terror? Refusal? Pack of all these things together? She turned back to him, and softly hushed him like one could a hush a child.
Natalia-Erlantz, look at me. There, straight in my eyes look at me.
She took his head in her warm white hands, not stroking it neither forcing his look towards her. Just she maintained him without using force. Anyway it would have been helpless with Erlantz to use force. She waited for him to dare fix his glance in hers then she took him in her arms, holding him tight for a little while:
Natalia-You were right to listen to Flint, now you 're not gonna turn your back once more. This is enough, you've shunned this place for too long now Erlantz. It's growing like a shadow on you that will swallow you up down to...
She just couldn't end what she was saying. She just nestle a little against him while she was chasing away that dreadful perspective of loosing him too. Then she proceeded:
Natalia-This is it now. I know you're strong enough, trust me. You're not gonna go back. Why have done all the way done to here otherwise Erlantz... come, it is you to decide...trust yourself.
She released him, looking straight into his eyes as if to give him courage. Then she hold her hand out to him. An helping hand...
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| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Mar 10 Mar - 16:14
| | Nombre de messages : 581
Age : 34
Origine : Anglo-Germanique.
Préférence Magique : Vieille Magie.
Ansgard Mustang
- Erlantz, look at me. There, straight in my eyes look at me.
She took his head in her hands. Even if they were warm and comforting, Natalia's aid was so weak in view of the sadness he was afflicted with. Nevertheless, he was ' happy ' she was here with him. Natalia's presence was a gift, a light in that darkness which was present in St. Mangoust Hospital. Erlantz tried to look up Natalia but he could not do that. and Natalia took him in her arms. A tear poured alongside his left cheek.
- You were right to listen to Flint, now you 're not gonna turn your back once more. This is enough, you've shunned this place for too long now Erlantz. It's growing like a shadow on you that will swallow you up down to...
- I know it all... But... me mind blinded me reason to protect me soul... Meself... you know...
His voice was like a soft whisper of wind. sadness could be heard in his pitch. He embraced Natalia with all of his strength. Natalia was like a life preserver for Erlantz. But... His son... Erlantz never came to see his son in the past. For ten years, he never came. He knew he was a fucking damn father, but his conscience... He had a guilty conscience now. He became aware of it. Thanks to Reagan, he thought. He looked up Natalia, trying to smile. But in vain.
- This is it now. I know you're strong enough, trust me. You're not gonna go back. Why have done all the way done to here otherwise Erlantz... come, it is you to decide... trust yourself.
She despendably took his hand, stumating Erlantz. He said :
- Okay... a few seconds spent. Let's go.
Keeping Natalia's hand in his hand, he came to the son's bedroom, with a straight face. Only in front of the door, he hesitated, but he opened it still and all.
In front of Erlantz, there was his son. Seated on the bed, it seemed to be a statue of sadness like in ancient Greece. None life came from Peru. it seemed to be done into rock. He was so tall... And so... old. More than the young people looked the same age. It was very stunning. And in his eyes, nothing light proved to be alive in them. Erlantz trembled a long time, before going to his son. He was deathly pale more than ever. And finally, he could not go to his son, and he burst into tears, in Natalia's arms. |
| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Mer 11 Mar - 0:20
| | Invité
Erlantz - I know it all... But... me mind blinded me reason to protect me soul... Meself... you know...
She felt the circle of his arms around her getting tighter and stronger, not as it has often been, protective and heathily strong, but strong in helplessness and distress, desperately clenched to her body as if to a last unsuffocating gasp of air. How little did she felt in these arms. How little the help and support she could produce face to Erlantz's burden. His own sorrow, a bundle of darkness and torment. Memories time had fastened to his very body, deeply anchored in his very soul as he said himself. His sorrow was gaining ground on him like an old doppelgänger lurking nearby in wait for the good moment, the moment when Erlantz would fall defeated. But this moment had not yet come. Erlantz was still the solid rock he was in their good old Irish days. The days when he, Jeff and Flint used to sip a friendly beer after a good Aingingein game. Aingingein was sort of a tradition in Ireland. English people usually finds it much too complicated and dangerous. True it has a couple of rules but it was really wicked to play Aingingein by the time they were young Natalia remembered. Jeff and Erlantz used to cast a black eye on her as soon as she made any attempt to participate. Too dangerous they said. Flint was less protective, maybe less old-fashioned with girls. Natalia used to do her "own things" as they used to say and once beer eventually got the better of them, she used to come and cover them with the old wool blankett that Erlantz used to say it was awful and made him feel itchy all over. Then she sat between them, next to Jeff even when he still was with Aisling, finished Erlantz beer off while watching Days and Wizzards, her favory programm. Flint, Erlantz and Jeff were Days-and-Wizzards phobics. Especially Jeff who never admitted he had a soft spot on the beautiful Sugar. That was how he and Natalia eventually got together. The game was cancelled because of the lashing rain. Jeff had come a bit in advance. They had a talk about Ailsing because she chucked him. After Erlantz and Flint left, Natalia and Jeff felt asleep on the sofa, at the very moment when Sugar was telling Kurt "it's all over Kurt..." , Jeff woke up very early the next morning, a dark ginger lock twisted around his finger, and that's how it all begun. Yes they had very good old Irish days. A few good English days too, but that never was the same thing.
What could she answer? That they were here to protect him too, she and Reagan? No, of course not. What Erlantz endured, only Erlantz knew exactly. But she largely sympathized.
The only thing she could do was to be there nearby him, and sweep this tear off his cheek with a friendly sweet hand. It was gone already.
Erlantz- Okay... a few seconds spent. Let's go.
They walked hand in hand as if to keep their courage, and finally passed door 423. It was the same old sight. The son sat against the huge coma white pillow, maybe even more pallid than he usually was. Peru seemed to pay no heed to Natalia. He never was apparently. He just seemed dreadfully quiet when she was here. She looked the other way for a moment, just to leave father and son in a semblance of privacy. But Erlantz could not yet. He turned to her and all of a sudden burst into tears. She closed her arms around him again, slidding her left hand in the nape of Erlantz neck as if to secure him and to contain his grief. But she could not, he had to let it out.
Natalia-Let it out. Let everything out, you're not alone Erlantz, you shall never be as long as I'm here, and Flint's here for you too I know.', she whispered as she felt her eyes fill with tears too.
It maybe was the last trial he had to overcome.
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| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Lun 16 Mar - 19:29
| | Nombre de messages : 581
Age : 34
Origine : Anglo-Germanique.
Préférence Magique : Vieille Magie.
Ansgard Mustang
Why did he behave like a coward ? For Erlantz, his reaction proved he was a coward. Crying in front of a woman, above all, his best friend, there was nothing all more unhinging and coward. But, even if he knew that, he could not stop crying. Tears fell alongside his cheeks. He could think he was so stupid to cry in front of Natalia, he knew it was good for his next frame of mind. Maybe, he could be like any other, after this... All these thought caused by one person. One person who was his son. He seemed to look like his mother... He observed that when he turned around his son. He had the same hair color, and in his eyes, we could see the same color too. Nevetherless, Peru had the same nose like his father, and the shape of this face, too. It was a perfect melting, crossover between Erlantz and Marie-Alice. Erlantz could not keep his eyes on his son. The pain, the sorrow he was afflicted with, was so heavy, oppressive... Erlantz tried to come up to his son. But he stopped walking after a few steps. He raised his hand on his son, caressed his cheek with his reluctantly finger.
After a while of silence was settled on the room, Erlantz turned his head toward Natalia, and he said.
- Why is life like this... Why does life punish the good persons... Why, Natalia ? Why ... ?
He looked his son, at this while.
- So... Why am i an auror ? Why trying to save this world... If i suffer like this... ? Am i a bad man ? |
| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Mar 17 Mar - 21:06
| | Invité
There was something sweet and tortured about how Erlantz drew closer to his son, giving a soft stroke onto Peru's sickly pale cheek. Such tenderness. She couldn't help having this kind unobtrusive smile on her lips because she felt it was the beginning of the end of all these sufferings for her friend. Just a painful reluctant begining but still, a beginning. A tear roll down her cheek too, but not the same kind as Erlantz'.
She had hold him tight, crying into her arms. She felt she could be kind of a safety net for him but also that she had to let him do things by himself. Silence crept inside room 423 just like a big black cover. She could feel something less soft in Erlantz as he turned towards her:
Erlantz- Why is life like this... Why does life punish the good persons... Why, Natalia ? Why ... ?
She remained silent. There was nothing she could have added to comfort him. That it was fate pulling the strings behind all this? That God had motivations of his own? Certainly not. She was not so found of all these ready-made sentences. Fate, God, all of these things she preferred to let out of her life so because she new faith sometimes helped overcoming grief and that it was no use to it turn into bitter hatred towards God. Because after all, she knew that if she had listened to all the "God's motivations" and "Fate's rulings" she would have ended up hating God and every men for taking Jeff from her. Hated to what point? She could barely fathom. She simply didn't want Erlantz to feel so, but to survive as she did.
Erlantz- So... Why am i an auror ? Why trying to save this world... If i suffer like this... ? Am i a bad man ?
Natalia-Not at all Erlantz. You even are one of the most valuable. You became an Auror precisely because you couldn't the sight of a young man bound to nothingness in an hospital room. That's a good reason.
She got a little closer to him, but not too much. She thought it was time to come to the Medecine Woman thing.
Natalia-Erlantz... there may be something to be tried. I dared not talked before 'cuz... it's not sure to have any more effects than what I have already done for Peru.
She stared at him, waiting for the moment she could catch his look straight.
Natalia-There's a few weeks, I heard about a Medecine Woman, a healer if you prefer. She pratice innate medecine... very different from what we do here.. very illegal above all, but it might work. I saw no other chance for the time being, but I've seen what she is capable of...
She lowered her face down to the pale green tiling, waiting for his reaction. Then looked straight again. She knew that she might well loose her position for letting a Medecine Woman practice in her hospital without the ascent of the Head Mediwizard. But that was a risk she was ready to run. For Peru. Even considering all it meant for her to work here, and each endevours she had produced year after year to come to the position she had now.
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| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Mar 24 Mar - 16:21
| | Nombre de messages : 581
Age : 34
Origine : Anglo-Germanique.
Préférence Magique : Vieille Magie.
Ansgard Mustang
- Not at all Erlantz. You even are one of the most valuable. You became an Auror precisely because you couldn't the sight of a young man bound to nothingness in an hospital room. That's a good reason.
Maybe she was right. But, Erlantz began to have doubts about his values. Dark magic did not cease its climbing, and soon, the deatheaters will be the masters of the world. A thing Erlantz tried to fight all a long of his life. Erlantz gave up. Since he was an auror, he has fought the darkness. A manner to destroy his own darkness his mother said when he became an auror. Erlantz looked up to ceiling before to turn his face toward Natalia, once again. She tried to relight hope in Erlantz's heart. But he tought she never arrived to do it. He had lost it all. His wife, his son... His friends... His mates... His father... All person most important in his life. He wanted to stop it all, now. But... Natalia did not cease to comfort him... To console him. She tried to fortify Erlantz in spite of his sadness. She had lost a lot of things too, with this eternal war between the light and the dark, but she never lowerd her arms in front of the adversity. She was so stronger than Erlantz, he thought.
- Erlantz... there may be something to be tried. I dared not talked before 'cuz... it's not sure to have any more effects than what I have already done for Peru.
- i'm sure you did all you could for me son, right ?
She looked up Erlantz in his eyes. Directly in his eyes. They looked each other and she said as she never stopped talking.
- There's a few weeks, I heard about a Medecine Woman, a healer if you prefer. She pratice innate medecine... very different from what we do here.. very illegal above all, but it might work. I saw no other chance for the time being, but I've seen what she is capable of...
She looked at something. Erlantz continued to look Natalia as she never blinked. He thought... In fact, he did not know what he should say. He was so surprised, and... It was impossible. He looked his son, and he went to him. He embraced this latter in his arms. So... A medecine woman could save his son... Why did he never hear that information ? Erlantz did not know. And even if he knew that, he was sure he did not believe in this. Erlantz was so matter of fact, you know.
- What's her name ? Do you know her ? Where does she is ? She lives in England ? Or anywhere ? I wanna talk with her... If i can save me son... I do this. I do try all of possibility to health me son. He has staied a long time in anywhere... He must live.
ne prenez pas compte des fautes, elles vont être corrigé. ^^
Dernière édition par Erlantz S. Levingston le Mer 25 Mar - 16:06, édité 1 fois |
| | | | Sujet: Re: apologize.
Mer 25 Mar - 13:29
| | Invité
Erlantz- i'm sure you did all you could for me son, right ?
Her river grey-green eyes seemed anchored in his as these words flew past his lips in a whisper. And at the moment, she felt them so much comforting. The state of Peru had been at a full stop for 10 years. She had used all her science and knowledge, sometimes passing sleepless night after sleepless night, fighting her own harassing fatigue. And all this for nothing at all, all this done to finally face the fact she was as powerless as a pawn on a muggle chest set. How terrible for a scientist to come to know the pettiness of his power. When Natalia had lost Jeff, she had thought "if I had had more time, I would have saved him" but now she knew she wouldn't have anyway and this was what was really terrible about all this. Loosing any patient is already a great disappointment, but loosing someone so close to you...
She nodded thus accepting Erlantz releasing her from all guilt. She really had done her utmost but had now to give way to other solutions. She resume to her first idea: the healer maiden.
Erlantz- What's her name ? Do you know her ? Where does she is ? She lives in England ? Or anywhere ? I wanna talk with her... If i can save me son... I do this. I do try all of possibility to heal me son. He has stayed a long time in anywhere... He must live.
Natalia-Her name is Acconitya Xylias. I'll introduce you to her very soon. I happened to found she was a healer maiden when Julie sprained her ankle last month on the Quidditch pitch, she is Hogwart's nurse.
She smiled to Erlantz. A new kind of glow was wavering in these river grey-green eyes of hers. This was hope, hope for a relief perhaps. The color of her eyes seemed more like Spring on an Irish river now whereas it used to feel like the color of a river undre a Summer Storm. For a minute, Natalia Taylor felt as if she was 17 again but it did not last long before she was back again into her 35. She didn't re-raised the question of breaching of the law. This was nothing for her and everything at the same time, but she was as strong as the rock. If the all thing would happen to turn badly, she would be prepared to change life. She would necessarily find something else to do. She already knew what and had been thinking of it for all the past month. They would be very carefull if Miss Xylias come to St Mungo's Hospital. And everything would end up very well... she hoped.
She rested her hand on Erlantz' arm as she would always in a sign of friendship when times were hard for both of them.
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